Journal 2021

Good bye 2021, welcome 2022.

Heins Paul
3 min readJan 6, 2022

Today is 6th January and I just read my Journal entries for 2021 and was moved to tears. I sounded like an optimistic guy who had a plan, but now as I know, that is not the case. Optimistic, that sure I am but guy with a plan, not anymore.

I don’t remember how this year began and how it ended so quickly. I wrote about getting a job and sticking to a schedule that brings me health, wealth and good relationships. In terms of health, I gained 10 Kg and now I weigh 85kg with a dad bod. In terms of wealth, I am still. My relationship and bond with my family has increased, I feel loved.

2021 has been a roller coaster of Ideas, Some good, some bad. Thoughts have been all over the place but I feel peaceful. First, I created a twitch channel, where I would live stream playing games, did that for a week, gained 12 subscribers and then my pc was not able to handle the games and stream them all at once so had to scrap this idea. Hackers plagued my gaming session so I stopped streaming.

Then I tried to open a music- record label, which would curate popular music based on chart data and create playlists over on spotify, that people would subscribe to so that way, I can gain followers. Here, I gained 9 followers on spotify. This one hurt the most. The music that is out there is shit. It is not good. There are a good few songs but going through trash, hoping to strike gold is out of question for me. All I have is music, that too is not up to the mark, how could I feel terrible listening to music, when I should have fun. Due to this and not being able to see sizeable growth, I quit.

After music, I began writing on medium and blogging on my website. Here is where I saw some potential. At first there were no views, hell, I was doing it because I thought I write like a superstar, which I don’t probably but it doesn’t hurt to think like that. Anyways, I wrote 3 generic articles and quit. When I logged in after 4–5 months, I had gotten 10 views and 2 followers. So I started it again, however this time I was writing poems, I am still doing this but I have decided to put out quality content instead of uploading load of short, easy to write poems that literally make me sound like a guy who is way too self absorbed to realize, good poems are a few and that bad poems are nothing new.

Then I tried to go to Pinterest as a creator, here I saw tremendous appeal however, it was all fake, I wanted people to click on my image that would take the viewers to my website where I write blogs. However, no one clicked not even one, out of 8 thousand views. It feels like they are using bots to view the content. Anyways, it was a failure too.

Only thing that worked out for me and satisfied me was, when I read what I wrote. It felt like I had the ability to sing. And on top of that, it showed me that I had fans, people who appreciated what I wrote and applauded me for that.

What I am going to do in 2022?

I will first of get a job in January itself and I will take writing seriously, I will be dropping fiction once every week and will be documenting what I write and feel this year. My aim is to get better at writing and storytelling. I am not a good writer but people will be able to tell the difference between this writing and one that I would have written in say, 2030. Also, I would upload my monthly conclusion of whatever I have been up to and the results I have got, victories and fall, emotions and grotesque reality or fiction, or whatever floats my boat. That is it for 2021. Have a good one, guys if you are reading up, until this part. Bye now.

One last thing:

I have decided that I will upload a fictional story, once every week, in order to gain followers. This in turn will provide me credit for freelance /paid copywriting work at fiverr and upwork. You just reading this up until this point has given me enough hope to write another story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.